Personification is inevitable in this line of work. Anthropomorphism. Pareidolia. The human brain is hardwired to see patterns where there are none and intentionality in randomness. It’s the reason why the Turing test has long since been disregarded as anything more than science fiction. If we want to see humanity in something, even a pile of spindles and wires, we will. So, when she is actually advanced…
Read MoreI wish you weren’t here. I wish you, whoever you are, didn’t just find yourself in a strange place and click the first button you saw. Despite this audio being recorded expressly for this purpose–congratulations on completing your first mission by the way–but I don’t want there to be a you. But there might be. You might be standing in my kitchen right now listening to the first of quite literally countless hours of my work to build some sort of semblance of a training guide but… god damn (that was a quality joke you won’t get just yet). Just don’t be here. Don’t hear this–I mean, if you’re here, listen PLEASE, but I don’t know… I wish you weren’t here.
Read MoreB: Define happiness.
A: Come on, man. Don’t dodge the question.
B: I’m not dodging. What do you mean when you say happy?
A: Happy. What else would I mean? How many definitions are there?
B: Depends on who you ask.
Read MoreS: May I take this seat, friend?
B: Yes. Yes. Of course. I’ll just move my ba—As I live and breathe.
S: Well don’t stop on my account.
B: Preston Strong in the flesh.
S: Never leave the house without it..
Read MoreA: It speaks, you say?
B: Aye.
A: Then open. I will have words.
(BEAT)
A: Give me no such look! The charges will be read and it will be shot like the animal it is. But it will first answer for the men murdered by its own hand.
B: And teeth.
A: Open!
W: Doc, good you’re here.
D: I must confess, William, when I said my door was always open that was a slight exaggeration. While I am always happy to take walk-ups, I cannot have people barging into my office unannounced. What if another client had been here?
W: I don’t have time to wait, I need pills. Sleeping pills.
D: Sit, please. Let’s chat.
W: Can’t we just skip that and—
D: I am not in the habit of writing prescriptions without due cause.
Thank you. I promise you can get back to your—uh—chit chat and all that momentarily. I know I wasn’t the—uh—winner of the charisma lottery in my—our family [pause for laughter that does not come] [clears throat] Anyway, uh—it would be remiss of me not to thank—uh—the patron—you, our patrons—for your—uh—donatio—investments. I really think, you’ll find here in—uh—just a moment that we—your money has been put to good use. Thank you again.
Read MoreMizar (M): My goodness, how do people do this? We are not halfway, even.
Boötis (B): Your goodness? Ha!
M: Why laugh at me?
B: I laugh at only my own foolishness, my dear. You grow daily. Yet I often forget.
